I just want a good life. Doesn't anyone stand for me, a kid as I try to lead my own life?

I looked through a real estate magazine and I fantasized about owning the most exclusive houses in Connecticut. I started making a cake and a hot chocolate to live this very exotic lifestyle. I thought, wouldn't it be special to live like my peers and alumni live.

Ifantasized again about owning expensive and lavish cars and boats like a jaguar and a 75 foot yacht. I thought about buying more lottery tickets and then that I'd hit it for 10 Million Dollars. With 10, I'd afford a beautiful house, jaguar and yacht all together. With 1, I'd buy a house and save the other half. For me, that's a big house. For my peers, that'd be a shame.

I painted that night. I developed a special hue of orange color in which I made by mixing yellow and cadmium red in just the right proportions. I applied it to my music collague painting titled Nirvana Incognito. The image looks like my fathers work by the raw elements. What it leads to is a star in darkness.

Cake makes me feel very delicious inside. The hot chocolate is the same feeling but it has more fireplace warmth and love. These temporary splints of cake and cocoa are here for rigidity - which I do make use of very well. I make use of these cocoa and cake splints by trying harder and with more enthusiasm at work. I also use these hot chocolate and cake eating experiences for esteem encouragement as incentive. Finally, I will often just bake a cake to get the whole waft of it in my senses - it peeks everything positive.

Snow! Now everything is a blur. I can get my own chest truss just by playing in the snow. I even have a snowboard. I bought my snowboard 4 years ago and I practiced at Woodbury and Powder Ridge. I am so good at snowboarding that I can jump a snow jump, table top, ride a half pipe and speed down the slope at 69 mph.

I dream of making it big and on the radio with my band Plaid. Then, I dream of making it big by solo career musician with my underground scene and cool name Chain. I keep writing everyday. In my writing, I put how I love stuff and how I hate stuff. I put how I live and how I dream. I put how I want a girl and what we do. So much of this writing turns into songs that I love it and do it as my main time hobby. I practice my drums and I develop smooth and intricately awesome drum fills. I practice my guitar and I write beautiful lyrics to the chords I find. I challenge every mental strife to a guitar solo dewl. I sing and that's the best one of all. I use my voice to reach highs and lows. I use my voice to rap. I use my voice to blues master some fun stuff about being president of my class and showing my big white ass. I use my voice to sing over my already recorded songs - to make additional tracks in my songs for singing. Then, I encourage myself to do it again. My writing is the oil and my performance is the engine. Last night, I saw my 400 person crowd and backstage room lights warming up before we take stage from behind my own eyes - I haven't seen this since that date, 1992. And that mic contraption, this website is about as the mic contraption: highs and lows before concert, life experiences in music and expression, the internal pergatory of nervousness and excitement, the partying - every kind, serious incidents to recall, serious dreams to tell...I perform as a teenager in front of my whole school as my band's lead singer.